Sunday, November 8, 2009

Struggling

This week, my application to Johns Hopkins University is due. Much like all my other apps, this one is getting delayed because of the essay. For the program I am applying for, Hopkins requires 3 essays. I've finished one so far but the other two have left me struggling. Struggling for words when I feel like I've ran out. Struggling in my thoughts for the right "story" to tell. I'm in essay-writing hell, so to speak.

As if that wasn't hard enough, I've got Stat homework due tomorrow and a Biochem exam on Tuesday. Such is the life of a student applying to grad school. My mom asks me why I work so hard. I'm not sure if she's serious or not. This is one of those times that I can actually "see" the fruits of my labor...the A's at the end of the proverbial tunnel.

While I am looking forward to being a grad school student (assuming I get in somewhere), I am also petrified. I've been reading blogs of students currently enrolled in the programs I am applying for. It's really amped up my stress level. What if I am in over my head? I know now is not the time to stress myself out but I really am a little more panicky. I know I set impossibly high standards for myself but what if this is one time that I actually disappoint myself? I don't think I can live with that.

I'm getting way ahead of myself. I need to get into school first before I have these thoughts. And I can't get in if my apps aren't done...so 'til next time and hopefully I won't be so panicked then. Cheers!