11.13

Soneto XVII

No te amo como si fueras rosa de sal, topacio
o flecha de claveles que propagan el fuego:
te amo como se aman ciertas cosas oscuras,
secretamente, entre la sombra y el alma.

Te amo como la planta que no florece y lleva
dentro de sí, escondida, la luz de aquellas flores,
y gracias a tu amor vive oscuro en mi cuerpo
el apretado aroma que ascendió de la tierra.

Te amo sin saber cómo, ni cuándo, ni de dónde,
te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo:
así te amo porque no sé amar de otra manera,

sino así de este modo en que no soy ni eres,
tan cerca que tu mano sobre mi pecho es mía,
tan cerca que se cierran tus ojos con mi sueño. 

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Sonnet 17

I do not love you as if you were a rose made of salt or topaz
or an arrow of carnations spreading fire:
I love you the way certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you like the plant that never blooms,
but conceals within itself the light of those flowers;
and, thanks to your love, the darkness of my body
houses the suffocating aroma that arose from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, when, or where from;
I love you straightforwardly, with neither problems nor pride:
I love you thus, not knowing how to love you otherwise

than this way whereby neither ‘you’ nor ‘I’ exist…
so close that your hand on my chest is mine,
so close that your eyes grow heavy when I tire.

Photo credit

11.12

Updates:

1. I'm taking a year off of school and my LOA has been approved.  I'll be back soon - here's to you Fall 2012.

2.  I like a boy (no surprise there).  I wonder if he likes me too.

3. Working out has been paying off.  Here's hoping that I make it stick.

4. I can do the Dougie!!

5. I'm still looking for a job.  Here's hoping I get one by the next update. 

11.11

I am not the best writer.  I don't even think I'm really that good a writer but writing is my outlet and I enjoy it from time to time.  Does it matter that no one reads what I write?  Not really.  I like just being able to spit out stuff without having someone else judge me - whether it's my writing or what I write about.  Granted, I probably deserve some criticism since I dole it out every chance I get but I'm not particularly ready for criticism just yet.  Hypocritical?  Probably.

On an entirely different note, I thought about one of my weird quirks yesterday and was wondering if other people do it too.  What is it?  Hmm, how do I explain it without seeming like a mental case?  Let's see.  I have full-on conversations in my head.  No, I don't talk to myself.  It's more like, if I had a chance to talk to so and so the conversation will go like this.  Well, I guess it's like talking to myself, haha. And I also like to replay conversations I already had and try to improve on it.  A professor once told me that it's a good thing because it makes me a more effective communicator.  I wonder if she was right.  I think I got the talking down pat...maybe I need to work on the listening (my ADD always gets me in trouble in the listening department).

I love to talk - about anything and everything.  Where do I come up with the stuff I talk about?  Who knows?  I think it's because my mind is constantly moving at about 100 mph and my mouth can barely keep up.  It's probably where the writing comes in too.  Whatever I can't talk about comes out on paper (or sometimes, my computer).  

11.10

I have read 20 books since May 2011....possibly 21. Let me see if I can list all of them on here: (not in any particular order)

1-14. Stephanie Plum books 1-14
15. Pale Demon
16. A Discovery of Witches
17. The Strain
18. The Fall
19. Postcard Killers (the last one I read, started and finished on 8/14)
20-21. Jack Reacher books 1 & 2

I guess it's 21 although I could be forgetting a few. I'm also not counting the George RR Martin books because I'm not actually sure when I started reading those. The first 3 I read before May for sure but I'm not sure about A Feast for Crows. I have to reread that one anyway before I tackle the most recent release of the series.

Too many books, not enough time. How many books have you read this year?

11.09

So many thoughts flit through my brain all day long.  Sometimes I wish I can capture all of them in a page, in a bottle...somewhere else so that I may access them again.  These fluttering thoughts rush through so quickly that sometimes I am unable to grasp their significance until later.  I don't have the best memory either so trying to remember most of these thoughts is moot.

I need to carry around something where I can put these thoughts down.  I'm not the best at that though.  Maybe I need to try harder.

11.08

I'm bored.  Take off your clothes. - Talbot (to Eric)

11.07

i've finally picked up my writing hat and put it on again.

i have more notes now and the story is starting to take shape.

i hope i actually pull this one off.

fear of failure is my biggest obstacle.