Tuesday, November 22, 2011

11.33

I came across this quote the other day:
"When you’re more mature, you make a life that suits you, not the life other people think you should have."

I'd like to think that I'm a mature person but when I really take stock of everything in my life, I am pretty immature.  Not in a bad way.  I'm responsible and I can be held accountable for all my actions BUT I still like to have fun and act silly and be silly.  I think the immaturity comes in when I have to make the big life decisions...decisions that affect my life in the long run. 

There are some decisions and choices we make in life that's pretty cut and dry like when I decided to move to New York.  It was a big decision but it was something I knew I had to do.  The past few years in my life added up to this momentous decision and I knew I had to jump at the chance.  However, there are also some decisions that need to be made that are not so cut and dry.  These decisions are the ones that I fear the most.  Not for anything else but because at the end of the day, if anything goes wrong, I made that decision.  I guess, on the flipside, if everything falls into place, I can also say that I made that decision.  Uncertainty is exciting and scary and I'm too impatient. 

I forget sometimes that I just need to live one day at a time and everything will just play itself out.  I have never been someone to just "enjoy the moment" because I always worry about what happens next.  I probably need to work on that.

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